We know shit value when we see it. This isn't one of those times.
We've chucked all the tribe favourites together into our popular bundles. If you hate saving money and would rather spend billions on submarine projects that will take 30 years - just CC Dept Defence. But if not, then our bundles will get you salty, sweet and zen - because every badass needs some downtime.
Sweet & Salty: 3 x Luxe Illumination Rounds + 2 x 600g Muscle Soaks
Get Lit: 5 x Luxe Illumination Rounds + On Rotation Round
PT Essentials: 1 x 100ml Mag Spray + 2 x 600g Muscle Soaks
Grump Old Salt: 3 x Luxe Illum Rounds + 3 x 600g Muscle Soaks + 1 x 100ml Mag Spray + 1 x 300g Milk Soak
Mystery Posting: 2 x Luxe Illumination Rounds + 1 x randomly selected 600g Muscle Soak + randomly selected 300g Milk Soak + 1 x any of the following: Hand sanitiser, candle snuffer, limited edition candles including On Rotation.
Bundle variants may change monthly. Savings price based on the full RRP of individual products. Postage not included and will be calculated at checkout. Bundles not able to have discount codes applied.
What do you get when you snitch on staff? Outcomes. You get fucking outcomes - which, in this case, are brand new Luxe Illumination Rounds.
Our Luxe Illumination Rounds are limited edition and, after much testing, arguing, further testing, nearly lighting the office on fire after leaving a candle unattended - we're pretty stoked about them.
Your New Weapons Of Choice:
Tiramisu: we know that most Officers have a sweet tooth (we've seen the drawers stashed full of lollies and shit), so it's only fitting we did another drool-worthy candle.
Blue Mountains Bushwalk smells like a fresh spring day with soft eucalyptus, native wattle, fresh leaves and pine.
Choccie Milk + ADF = a match made in milky heaven. We'll fight you if you don't agree (also - our knees and back are fucked, so we'll need to just have a keyboard war, ok?)
Deluxe Raspberry Ripple: this zingy little number will make the most foul-smelling of office blocks and rooms smell fucking delightful. Super fresh, super berry-ish and topped off with a hint of vanilla.
The Huntsmans Cabin: this Illumination Round will transport you deep into the woods with a base of sandalwood, juniper, cedarwood, cinnamon, and clove. Earthy, warm, and bloody delightful.
P.s uh, we didn't just launch new candles either. We have a new motherfuckin' muscle soak! You can find it here. Our Product & Op's team have finally worked a lil harder. And for that, our muscles and minds are forever grateful.
We've put these beauties into lightweight travel tins, which have a burn time of approx 18-20 +hrs. Contains 220g of soy wax + fragrance + our salty attitude. Our new range comes in white tins from 17 Sep, not black.
NOTE: Always trim the wick down, otherwise the wick will be like a little mushroom, it'll burn like crap and then you'll be a sooky la la that your candle isn't performing well. So just trim it to 5mm before you burn each time. Oh, and, don't leave a candle unattended. If we don't put stupid disclaimers on things, we'll get sued by someone even stupider.
Read this far? You attentive dirtbag. Want to be in on a secret? We're nearly ready to release our mag shower gel and mag infused coffee scrubs. Now you'll know what it's like treat yo' self - just like a RAAFY! P.s email us to get on the top-secret waitlist for pre-release. firstname.lastname@example.org , subject line: I keep secrets safe.
We almost look better than your deployment prospects in 2020. 💀
I ordered a bunch of stuff from @tactical.recovery. I now have a scented candle to help me meditate like a f***ing weapon! I’ll follow up with the bath salts to have a un romantic bath on my own whilst I day dream about how fun it would be to fire a Javelin missile! Look after your body, look after your mind, be a weapon!
Enjoy your bath responsibly 🥃 🛁.
We’re so fucking good, even Medics wish they could prescribe us. 🤙🍍 PS: our winter range of Illumination Rounds have just dropped. 🔥 New scents include: Apple Strudel, Spiced Pumpkin Pie, Winter Nights & Into The Woods. 🛒 SHOP in bio. .