If you've been part of this salty pineapple tribe for a while, you would know by now that these hand-poured soy candles sell out, every god damn week. 

These are our old faithfuls. 

Our hand-poured soy candles are made from 100% soy wax and premium Australian made fragrances. The wicks are lead-free and they're non-toxic. Please note that the candles now coming in white tins, like our new Luxe Illum Rounds. Our photographer is as lazy as a front gate guard, so the image hasn't 

Your weapons of choice:

• Coffee- if you aren't a coffee lover, then move the fuck along (and, get off our website, ok?). This gives you a total faux sense of being perky as fuck. Our new blend isn't as sweet and is a much more bold black coffee brew.
• Creme Brulee - literally these names are exactly how they smell. The purpose of writing these descriptions is a bit pointless hey. This one is sweet, with creamy vanilla and very decadent. We know ya'll like snacky-snacks, and this one - is a lil snack of its own. 
• Aussie Flora - this light scent is laced with Australian botanicals. Not too strong, not too light. It's just right. 
  
• Dry Tobacco & Hay - if we had a dollar for every time some dickweed says "why would I want something that smells like an ashtray?". Firstly, hi - fucking dried tobacco and hay have a very earthy and sweet aroma. It's a very homely scent and surprising to those who aren't familiar with it. It's actually our best seller. So if you're a Karen - bye. 
  
• Spiced Pumpkin Pie - one of our last candles of the Winter Range left. This is reminiscent of cinnamon-dusted home-baked pumpkin pie. Someone did once say it reminded them of curried sausages. So, yeah look, everyone is different #scentdiversity
  
• On Rotation - Monthly Candle - so these bad boys rotate each month and, most of the time, are in short-run batches. It's the luck of the draw. September = Lemon Meringue, Avocado & Mint, Forrest Spice, or Honey Blossoms. It's a bloody mixed bag. 
  
• Candle Snuffer - can be used as both a weapon and a candle snuffer, your choice really. However, we advise the later. These are 24cm long metal snuffers that reduce the smoke when you blow the candles out. If you want to give your candles a longer burn time and shelf life - this is a #lifehack.

Important shit. 

We've put these beauties into lightweight travel tins, which have a burn time of approx 18-20 +hrs. Contains 220g of soy wax + fragrance + our salty attitude. Our tins have changed to be white until further notice. Please don't reject us because of this.

NOTE: Always trim the wick down, otherwise the wick will be like a little mushroom, it'll burn like crap and then you'll be a sooky la la that your candle isn't performing well. So just trim it to 5mm before you burn each time. Oh, and, don't leave a candle unattended. If we don't put stupid disclaimers on things, we'll get sued by someone even stupider.  

What do you get when you snitch on staff? Outcomes. You get fucking outcomes - which, in this case, are brand new Luxe Illumination Rounds.

Our Luxe Illumination Rounds are limited edition and, after much testing, arguing, further testing, nearly lighting the office on fire after leaving a candle unattended - we're pretty stoked about them. 

Your New Weapons Of Choice:

• Tiramisu: we know that most Officers have a sweet tooth (we've seen the drawers stashed full of lollies and shit), so it's only fitting we did another drool-worthy candle. 
• Blue Mountains Bushwalk smells like a fresh spring day with soft eucalyptus, native wattle, fresh leaves and pine.
  
• Choccie Milk + ADF = a match made in milky heaven. We'll fight you if you don't agree (also - our knees and back are fucked, so we'll need to just have a keyboard war, ok?)
• Deluxe Raspberry Ripple: this zingy little number will make the most foul-smelling of office blocks and rooms smell fucking delightful. Super fresh, super berry-ish and topped off with a hint of vanilla. 
  
• The Huntsmans Cabin: this Illumination Round will transport you deep into the woods with a base of sandalwood, juniper, cedarwood, cinnamon, and clove. Earthy, warm, and bloody delightful. 

P.s uh, we didn't just launch new candles either. We have a new motherfuckin' muscle soak! You can find it here.  Our Product & Op's team have finally worked a lil harder. And for that, our muscles and minds are forever grateful.

Important shit. 

We've put these beauties into lightweight travel tins, which have a burn time of approx 18-20 +hrs. Contains 220g of soy wax + fragrance + our salty attitude. Our new range comes in white tins from 17 Sep, not black. 

NOTE: Always trim the wick down, otherwise the wick will be like a little mushroom, it'll burn like crap and then you'll be a sooky la la that your candle isn't performing well. So just trim it to 5mm before you burn each time. Oh, and, don't leave a candle unattended. If we don't put stupid disclaimers on things, we'll get sued by someone even stupider.  

Read this far? You attentive dirtbag. Want to be in on a secret? We're nearly ready to release our mag shower gel and mag infused coffee scrubs. Now you'll know what it's like treat yo' self - just like a RAAFY! P.s email us to get on the top-secret waitlist for pre-release. hello@tacticalrecovery.com.au , subject line: I keep secrets safe.